Standards vs. Fantasies
Standards are non-negotiable requirements based on what you actually need for happiness — values alignment, emotional maturity, basic lifestyle compatibility. Fantasies are idealized images of a partner based on what you think you want — specific height, career status, social media presence. One keeps you safe; the other keeps you single.
The Paradox of Choice
Dating apps give you access to more potential partners than any generation in history. This should make finding someone easier, but research shows it makes it harder. With unlimited options, people become pickier, less satisfied, and more likely to abandon perfectly good connections for the promise of something slightly better.
Recalibrating Your Standards
Ask yourself: of the dealbreakers on your list, how many are about how the person makes you feel, and how many are about how the person makes you look? If your standards are mostly about external validation, they're working against you.