The Four Attachment Styles
Secure (comfortable with intimacy and independence), anxious (craves closeness, fears abandonment), avoidant (values independence, uncomfortable with vulnerability), and disorganized (swings between craving and fearing closeness). About 50% of people are secure; the other 50% are split among the rest.
How Attachment Styles Form
Your primary caregiver's responsiveness in your first two years of life literally wired your attachment system. Consistent, attuned caregiving produces secure attachment. Inconsistent caregiving produces anxious attachment. Dismissive caregiving produces avoidant attachment.
Why This Matters Right Now
Your attachment style predicts how you handle conflict, how you communicate needs, whether you chase or withdraw, and who you're attracted to. An anxious person and an avoidant person will be drawn to each other like magnets — and make each other miserable. Understanding your style is the first step to breaking the pattern.